I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
