is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
