I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
