is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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