Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
