First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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