She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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