You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize