actually, I'm a sock model
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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