He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
