did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
