Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
