At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
