I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
