we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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