guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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