Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Rumble strips road head = magical
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
