thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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