I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
