i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize