on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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