The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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