do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
