I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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