Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize