I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
