Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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