im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Randomize