yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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