I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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