I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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