margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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