Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
