The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
