apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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