I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
