we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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