rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
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