It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
