I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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