i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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