We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it hurts more in the daytime
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
