But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
These tits shall not be calmed
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
