Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
