Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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