Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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