He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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