She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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