She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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