you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
