hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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