i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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