I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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