I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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