Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
