we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think my moral compass just broke
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
