why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
