I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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