fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
