Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
