Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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