i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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