i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
COCAINE IS GR8
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
