the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
