apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
