Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
