I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
