Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize